Connect or Disconnect
Making connections with people can have a positive impact on our experiences. Talk about a person or a group of people you have made a strong connection with in your program and share some of your fondest memories you have created with that person or group.
This may come across as pretentious but I consider myself a unique social being. I started noticing this around the start of college, partially feeling like I did not need any friends because the best ones I could ever have were at home/I felt satiated within my social relationships. I understand the arrogance and brashness of these statements, but I had had the same friend group since about middle school, my best friend is my cousin and we are like brothers, and all the friendships I made throughout high school seemed to augment what I already had. I felt like I had enough. This leads to hours spent alone, on the phone communicating with old friends via social media, and not pursuing new opportunities. Though I do not nearly feel this way nearly anymore, it is still a process for me to make new friends: I do not feel like I click with many people (maybe it is a reflection of my openness and where I am at mentally/emotionally), I have high standards for who I truly consider to be friends, I judge books by their covers, I have my own insecure human tendencies. My introverted, homebody traits are essential to who I am. All this being said, when I make a friend, I try to be a good friend to them.
Entering this program I did not have the lofty ideals of self-reinvention that often accompany the start of a major experience (read: college), just wanted to put myself out there, and if people that I gravitated towards happened to gravitate towards me, great. But I did put myself out there: asked to hang out with people, conversed earnestly and intentionally, and found comfort with where I was at. Study abroad does not have to be life-changing nor do you have to be your most social self, exploring the newfound freedoms of a lowered consideration of adulthood in your host country. What is most important is that you are yourself, and you that you learn to love who that person is, regardless of setting.
This is all an introduction to where I am at currently: involved in a romantic relationship with someone from the program. Before starting this program I met with DT and Sharon and they were talking about "if you meet someone from the program that makes your heart beat a little faster...." I'm certain the rest of what they said was important but I tuned the rest of it out with my own protests as I was set on not getting involved with anyone while I was abroad. But these things sneak up on you.
Relationships are difficult, that I knew already. Balancing this experience I am having with getting to know this person and rationalizing where to spend my time and effort is no easy task. At the end of the day only I can decide if it is worth it. I know who I am, and I know what I value, so I know that this person will never come ahead of what I want to get out of my education, but having someone that I share a special connection with adds an extra layer of meaning to what I am experiencing abroad. It is made more tricky by the finite nature of our program, and necessary discussions that need to be had about what the future may hold for us, but this just brings me back to the most important lesson I am still learning from this experience: live in the moment.
This may come across as pretentious but I consider myself a unique social being. I started noticing this around the start of college, partially feeling like I did not need any friends because the best ones I could ever have were at home/I felt satiated within my social relationships. I understand the arrogance and brashness of these statements, but I had had the same friend group since about middle school, my best friend is my cousin and we are like brothers, and all the friendships I made throughout high school seemed to augment what I already had. I felt like I had enough. This leads to hours spent alone, on the phone communicating with old friends via social media, and not pursuing new opportunities. Though I do not nearly feel this way nearly anymore, it is still a process for me to make new friends: I do not feel like I click with many people (maybe it is a reflection of my openness and where I am at mentally/emotionally), I have high standards for who I truly consider to be friends, I judge books by their covers, I have my own insecure human tendencies. My introverted, homebody traits are essential to who I am. All this being said, when I make a friend, I try to be a good friend to them.
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| Camera Shy: At a park in Brno, Czech Republic, most of the photos you'll see featuring me are selfies because I tend to travel alone. |
Entering this program I did not have the lofty ideals of self-reinvention that often accompany the start of a major experience (read: college), just wanted to put myself out there, and if people that I gravitated towards happened to gravitate towards me, great. But I did put myself out there: asked to hang out with people, conversed earnestly and intentionally, and found comfort with where I was at. Study abroad does not have to be life-changing nor do you have to be your most social self, exploring the newfound freedoms of a lowered consideration of adulthood in your host country. What is most important is that you are yourself, and you that you learn to love who that person is, regardless of setting.
 |
| Unlikely Friend: A UFO at the Kravi Hora park in Brno. |
Relationships are difficult, that I knew already. Balancing this experience I am having with getting to know this person and rationalizing where to spend my time and effort is no easy task. At the end of the day only I can decide if it is worth it. I know who I am, and I know what I value, so I know that this person will never come ahead of what I want to get out of my education, but having someone that I share a special connection with adds an extra layer of meaning to what I am experiencing abroad. It is made more tricky by the finite nature of our program, and necessary discussions that need to be had about what the future may hold for us, but this just brings me back to the most important lesson I am still learning from this experience: live in the moment.
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